Hello Beauty and the Beast lovers!
Beck here! And to ease the brothers' nerves, I'm going to dedicate a whole "Beauty and the Beast" page to them!
Now just wait! This is not like the Broadway or the Disney. It's my version. And Catscratch is involved.
No, I'm not rewriting the entire play! Just the songs.
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Blik
(to the song Gaston)
by: Beck
<Blik enters room distressed>
Blik:
Who does he think he is? Kraken has tangled with the wrong cat!
<Gordon joins in>
Gordon:
Darn right!
Blik:
No one disses my tail issues in my face! Dismissed! Rejected! Publicly humiliated! It's more than I can bear.
Gordon:
More root beer?
Blik:
What for? Nothing helps! I'm disgraced.
Grodon:
Who you? Blik! You've got to pull yourself together!
<breaks into song>
Gosh it disturbs me to see you Bliky, looking so down in the dumps!
Every newt here wants to be you Bliky.
Even when taking your lumps!
There's no cat right here as admired as you.
Your everyone's favorite guy!
Everyone's awed and inspired by you.
And it's not very hard to see why!!
No one's slick as Bliky.
No one's quick as Bliky.
No one's ego's incredibly big as Bliky's.
For there's no cat in town half as manly.
Purr...fect a pure paragon!
You can ask any cat in the city.
And they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on!
Waffle:
No one's been like Bliky.
A tycoon like Bliky!
Gordon:
No one's got a swell tail on his butt like Bliky!
Blik:
As a specimen, I'm irresitable!!
Waffle:
My what a guy that Bliky!
Give 5 hurrahs! Give 12 hip hips!
Gordon:
Bliky is the best and the rest is all drips!
Gordon and Waffle:
No one buys like Bliky.
No one plots like Bliky.
Gordon:
In a wrestling match nobody bites like Bliky!
Katilda:
For there's no one as handsome and sexy.
Blik:
Please get her away from me, now!!!!
Gordon:
Not one bit of him's ungroomed or fuzzy.
Blik:
That's right!
And every last inch of me's covered with fur!
Waffle:
No one hits like Bliky!
Matches wits like Bliky!
Gordon:
In a spitting match nobody spits like Bliky.
Blik:
I'm especially good at expectorating. Ptooey!
Waffle:
Ow that was my eye!
Blik:
When I was a kitten a drank some milk, every morning to help me get strong.
But now that I'm grown, I drink root beer galore!
And my bones are as strong as my brain!!! Ha! Ha!
<poses>
Waffle:
Ooh!
Blik:
<poses>
Gordon:
Ahh!
Blik:
<poses>
Hovis:
What the?
Gordon:
No...one...drives like Bliky.
Is real cheap like Bliky!
Blik:
I use money in all of my decorating!
Waffle and Gordon:
My what a cat.....
Gordon:
What a cat!!
Waffle and Gordon:
Bliky!!!!
<song ends>
Blik:
Wow! Thanks guys! You don't know what that means to me.
Waffle:
Really?!
Blik:
Actually, no. it was annoying. And.
DON'T CALL ME BLIKY!!!
Waffle:
Okay.
<Blik walks out, fuming>
Waffle:
Bliky.
Blik:
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
<throws a brick at Waffle>
<Waffle gets knocked out>
Waffle:
Pretty colors!
Goodnight...Bliky!
<falls asleep>
Blik:
Grrrrrrrrr....
<walks in and throws Waffle out the window into the dumpster below>
Gordon:
That wasn't very nice Blik.
Blik:
Grrrr....
<picks up Gordon and throws him out the window, too.>
Finally, some peace and quiet.
<Hovis enters>
Hovis:
Call for you...Bliky.
Blik:
AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
!THE END!
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The Butler of Doom
(to the song Maison de Lunes)
by: Beck
<Gordon and Blik are sitting at the dining table with mugs of rootbeer>
<Hovis walks in>
Blik:
<stands up and offers Hovis a seat>
Ah, Hovis. Thank you for coming on such short notice.
Hovis:
<sits in seat>
I work here...sir. Besides, Gordon said he'd make it worth my while.
Gordon:
Uh...I did?
Blik:
<rolls eyes>
I'll take it from here pudgy.
Gordon:
<winds up to punch Blik but cools down>
Hovis:
Well. I'm waiting. What do you want?
Blik:
It's like this...
<stands up>
<breaks into song>
There's danger I'll be thwarted and denied my tail's full size. For the thing I'm trying to rid is getting me mad!! So the time has come for an awesome plan. For which I turn to an awesome...uh...man!
<song stops>
Did I just say that?
<song starts>
Gordon:
To find that man where better than...
Both:
The Butler of Doom!
Hovis:
<rolls eyes>
Blik:
I don't take this tail for granted! There's nothing I haven't done. To get kraken to obey me.
Gordon:
Oh that will be tough.
Blik:
But quite amazing to become, the tail looks dreadful on my bum!
Gordon:
Which causes him to wonder on!
Both:
The Butler of Doom!
Hovis:
I don't wish to seem a tad obtuse. but I don't see how I can be of use! For I'm a butler, see? I'm not a detective. I'm a worker here, with a boring, rigid streak!!
Gordon:
<somewhat scared>
<to Blik>
Please speak!!
Blik:
<sits down>
It is Waffle who's your client. He adores the stupid squid. He'll be forced to be complient!
Gordon:
He'll dance to your tune.
Blik:
We get my tail back through the cat! You just pronounce me the hero!
Gordon:
And-whoosh-Waffle is fooled real bad!
Hovis and Gordon:
The Butler of Doom.
Blik:
Do I make myself perfectly clear?
Hovis:
It's the simplest deal in my stupid career!
Blik:
<stands up>
You trick 'ol Waffle and the beast will show up very soon! In a dreadful state! It'll listen up to me!!
Hovis:
<stands up>
Oh I'll be fooling a dumb cat!
Gordon:
<stands up>
Very smartly!
Blik:
Very soon.
Hovis:
But please don't make him hug me, or I'll get away from you!
Gordon and Hovis:
So say goodbye you tail-less guy!
Blik:
It'll be all mine!
Gordon:
He'd rather die! Then have the kraken ossify?
Hovis:
In my salty spitoon!
All:
So check the list; raise glasses high!
To the Butler of Doom!
<they all clank their glasses as the scene fades away>
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Human Kimberly
(To the song Belle)
by: Beck + Becky
Human Kimberly:
Big old house, in a filthy city.
Weird 'ol days like the ones before.
Big old house, full creepy cat-things.
Waking up to say...
Waffle:
Newts!!!
Gordon:
Heylo!
Hovis:
The phone!
Gordon:
Oh no!!
Blik:
You freaks!!
Human Kimberly:
There goes the black one with his cash like always!
The same 'ol greedy Blik I know!
Every morning just as weird.
Since the morning that I moved, near this creepy big old house...
Hovis:
Hello.
Human Kimberly:
Hello to you too!
Hovis:
Where are you going?
Human Kimberly:
School like always. I report due today, on unicorns and rainbows--
Hovis:
That's nice! Waffle get off the roof!!
Katlyn:
Look there she goes that girl is odd no question.
Liking ponies just like me.
Waffle:
Never part of any crowd.
Katlyn:
And her head's up on some cloud.
Both:
No denying, she's a weird one, Kimberly.
Katlyn:
Hello!
Waffle:
Newts! Splee!
Katlyn:
Where's your med'cene.
Charlotte:
What's up!
Blik:
Hey, hey.
Charlotte:
I need to leave!
Gordon:
I need more food!
Blik:
That's too expensive!
Human Kimberly:
There must be more than this stupid world!
Kaitlin:
Hey, Kim!
Human Kimberly:
Hi! Like my project?
Kaitlin:
Finished already?
Human Kimberly:
Oh! I couldn't stop!
Unicorns! Rainbows! Far-off places! Cupcakes and candy!
Kaitlin:
Wow. You like it too much.
Human Kimberly:
No I don't.
Kaitlin:
Yes you do.
Human Kimberly:
Come let's get to school!
Hovis:
Look there she goes that girl is so peculiar.
I wonder if she's failing school!
Waffle:
Always here and never home.
Hovis:
And her head's in another zone.
Both:
What a puzzle to the rest of us is Kim.
Human Kimberly:
Oh, isn't this amazing.
It's the best project because you'll see.
Here's where you see the ponies, but you won't discover that they're real 'till section three!
Hovis:
Well, it's no wonder that her name means pony, her looks have got no parallel.
Waffle:
But behind her pretty hair,
I'm afraid she's way out there.
Very different from the rest of us.
Both:
She's nothing like the rest of us.
Yes, diff'rent from the rest of us is Kim.
Gordon:
Wow! You have a lot of cash Blik!
You're the richest cat in the world!
Blik:
I know.
Gordon:
No Kraken stands a chance against you, and no cat for that matter.
Blik:
I've got my sights set on that one!
Gordon:
You mean Katilda?
Blik:
No you dope! That statue of me!
Gordon:
But it's--
Blik:
The most handsome thing in the world!
Gordon:
Okay, but--
Blik:
That makes it the best. And don't I look the best?
Gordon:
Well, I guess so.
Blik:
Right from the moment when I saw myself.
I said "I'm gorgeous!" and I fell.
Here around there's only me who can make you look ugly. So, I'm making plans to get a bush as well.
Katilda:
Look there! He goes! Isn't he dreamy?
Mister Blik, sir.
Oh he's so cute!
My eyelids flash!
I'm barely breathing!
He's such a tall, dark, rich, and famous cat!
Waffle:
Hello!
Blik:
Shou! Shou!
Kaitlin:
What's up?
Chalrlotte:
You call this root beer?
Waffle:
What lovely cheese!
Gear:
Some oil?
Kaitlin:
One kick!
Charlotte:
No no!
Blik:
'Scuse me!
Waffle:
I'll get the saw!
Blik:
Please let me through!
Katlyn:
This book!
Charlotte:
That hat!
Katlyn:
It's bad!
Charlotte:
Ugly!
Waffle:
I have an armpit!
Human Kimberly:
There must be more than this busy life!
Blik:
Just watch!
I'll make that statue glow with pride!
Everyone (Except Blik, Kim, and Gordon):
Look there she goes that girl is weird no question.
You can tell she's not on our world!
It's a shame and a sin.
She doesn't quite fit in!
She likes ponies but a little wack!
She likes to ride on their backs!
She really is a little stange!
That Kim!!
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More Coming Soon!